fanFICTION: A Princess Bride: Waiting for Westley(Oct.6th, 2006)

He had left me today. I watched him walk from me. I stood wishing he would turn one last time. The time came when I could no longer see him. I turned to walk back to the cottage. Only horrid images going through my head. He’s screeching scream at sea as a blade hits his heart…no I mustn’t think these things. The sun has fallen, I must do my chores for night and get an early sleep, and maybe my dreams will comfort me.

…

It is in the middle of the night, the moon is bright against the unusably dark sky. I had awaked from a dream not long ago. I saw wetly covered in blood staring deep into my eyes. I stood motionless just staring down at him. Cold…watching him dies. This went on more cruelly…I barely can write this now. Tears stain the pages and smear the ink. In my dream also his last breathe with my name. Gasping for breath, choking on blood and spit. I looked to my right hand and at my dress after he had died. Red...A red dagger...red hands…I killed him and my face was still cold, motionless. I rose from my bed in a cold sweat. I passed back and forth across the floor in front of the fire. Was Westley dead? Had he gotten on the ship alright? Will I hear from him?

…

I stopped writing last because my hands were shaking. It is morning now and I write this on a stool in the corner of the cow stalls. I saw a messenger on the road…in fear of bad news I fled to hide. He is knocking on the cottage door now…I can’t hide forever.

…

The messenger found me. It took him a while. What lead him to me was when backing farther into a corner I sliced my arm on a stray nail out of the wood. He looked alarmed and frightened when he saw me. He approached me very gently. He bandaged my arm and led me to the cottage. I spoke. “Do you bare grave news?” He responded. “Malady, I do not wish you give you an answer at this moment.” I shrunk from him. To a corner beside the fire place. I huddled myself for warmth. I felt very cold and ill. He reached his hand out. I swatted him away and spat out “Get away from me you fealty mourn giver.” I shook frostily, glaring at him, knowing he wasn’t even responsible for the horrible news that could only be about my Westley. He backed away from me and kept his hands visible. When he reached the door he hung his head and announced. “Westley’s ship was attacked by pirates. D-Dread Robert’s...m-M’lady” And he fled as I reached for a pot above the wash bowl.

…

It’s been 2 nights since I wrote last. I had stayed in that same corner hugging the washing pot. Rocking and groaning, weeping. Inside I had died and I did not eat nor sleep it hope I would soon be dead also. Before I had sat down to write this I had gone into a fit of rage. I threw that washing pot, I struck the floor until my knuckle bleed. I screamed for Westley. “HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME AND DIE!” I cried, clawing the walls. Foul language spewed forth cursing Westley…Cursing myself…CURSING DREAD ROBERTS! My hands are red, my nails sawed raw. Bits of blood are staining the paper. Blood and tears that is all of left of me…

…

The Prince has asked me to marry him and I am to be showed off at the courtyard today. I am sitting behind a wall in a dressing room he had given me to get dressed in fine cloth. It’s been quite a long time since I had written last. A neighboring commoner found me bleeding to death in the stables. Gruesome things I had tried with the hook have to bleed the sorrow from me… I was pale and weak. The old woman cared for my wounds and feed me wheat mush. I slept…I slept and slept, too deep for any dream’s that would torture me. But it only took those last 4 minutes of slumber to awaken me when purpose in my life. In my dream I was being held by a lean man in a black girly shirt. I wasn’t frightened, but warm and smiling. I had curled up in his lap like a child hugging his neck. His face was a blur of flesh tone and a black stripe. I felt peace and love. When I suddenly awoke and the commoner was startled out of her chair I repeated the word’s he said. “Your one crazy b…” Oh well I forgot the rest but it was something important and should be held close to my heart.  I must be going, I hear my name, though still feel lonely inside maybe something good will come out of this.

Helping Over A Distance (Sept. 26th, 2009)

On a cold winter day, I unexpectedly made a new friend over the Internet, on a popular chat site. While lounging about on a social room, I began to randomly talk to someone who wasn’t getting noticed. We chatted over our schools, what we loved, and was music we like. Soon it became a daily encounter and we got to know more and more about each other.

 Not long after meeting John, the said boy, received grave news from his father. His father was diagnosed with stomach and colon cancer. I made it clear to him I would always be there for him. Though the limitations of the distance between us didn’t allow a true connection, my words comforted him. He would have bursts of anger and frustration in school that he would tell me about. I would patiently give him alternatives to his emotions he was feeling at this time. I had determined to help him with skills he could use in the future. As we both grew over the years, I noticed how he became more mature and took my advice to heart.

 John’s father’s cancer was progressively eating away at his health, but he stayed strong for his family. I had never again had the opportunity of getting this close to as strong of a man as John Tanta Sr. Not only his courage with cancer reflected his mental strength, but how he prepared his family for his foreseen end was as brave as any man could get.

 To conclude this essay, I will close with the ending passage from a tribute biography for John’s father.

 “…I didn’t expect something like my dear friends father dyeing. It surprised me how fast that kind of news can hit you. It got me thinking about what I was saying to him. And how much I didn’t think while saying things. To me I sounded like some person that is standing there and nods and looks sad while people are crying because what I’ve said sounded so planned out. These things we say and how we say them, it all goes back to what we picked up. We have an assumption that the things other people say in a time of grieving is all we can say. But the thing is, we have nothing else to say but what we learned. Because, though death is in the world every day, we don’t have to personally deal with it until it is in our way. I wanted what I say to have at least an ounce of originality buts it’s not in me. This is when online chatting become the coldest. I was with him always as words and that was the most I could give him. I know now I am not more than just words to him. And I have always been a real person apart of John’s life and his family. Just as John was a part of my daily conversation for these years we spent together, my family made him apart of us. We have affected each other’s lives and it seems the day we will stop talking will never come. And I hope it won’t ever come. Through time, things and people change, memories held dear won’t fade. John Tanta Sr. is no longer here with us but the happy memories with him will stay with his family, his fans, his friends, and some girl in Arkansas that is close to his son. I’ll end this tribute and bibliography saying John Tanta was a great man that changed lives and his son will grow to be just as great and just as kind….”

     -A Tribute to John Tenta Sr. by Marcie Carelock

Boys and Drama: On the internet love as a young teen girl. (2005)

I don’t get the drama llama emote. But that's not the point. It's the internet. When I was 13 I started getting into the internet. I learn a lot of things. I know a lot about different kinds of people. Different cultures were introduced. I had a since of reality I couldn’t get from my little town. People that changed my life the most were over the internet. I was shaped into this sympathetic complex girl. In the real world in just a host for my thoughts. Some things leak out into everyday actions with friends, and every mood I host is utility me. Sure I’ve had a couple of crushes but I had my first LOVE through the internet.

I was 14 and was talking to the same guy for over a year now. I truly thought was I felt was love. The butterfly’s when he signs on, the complete uncontrolled of thoughts when talking to him. I would talk to him every day. But the scariest part was if when daddy unplugged the computer I would go completely berserk. I was afraid something would happen if I didn’t have the internet. I'd break down and cry in a corner until the next day he would have mercy on me and plug it back up. On a new game that boy introduced to me he introduced me to a few of his real friends. There was one boy that was fun to talk to and I introduced my best friend to him. My friend and his friend became internet go and bf.

That one guy that was his friend told me a secret that was up to him to tell. We were walking around alone on that game and he told me that he was in the 6th grade. I was in 8th. I just laughed at first until I broke down crying and I was hysterical. I was saying crazy stuff so the guy just took it back and said he was lying because he was jealous. I believed this after I confirmed with the boy if it was a lie of not. He said of course it’s a lie, do you trust me or him. Eventually his friend had a conversation with him over AIM and showed me that it was the truth. I talked to the boy and he's reason was that he was too far into our relationship to lose it. I stopped loving him but he turned out just to be like the little neighbor boy or something. I was more like his big sister. I was 13 when he was 10 when we meet each other. He said he was 15.

Before I knew this though I nearly meet him in person. He cussed me out in an email in attempt to make me just not want to anymore. My DAD arranged to go to his house. It really surprised me. I just slipped down to the floor board and peeked out of the window while daddy practically stopped in front of his house. If I was anybody else I would have just gotten it over with. But I respected his wishes.

His friend though actually started calling my best friend. There first two conversation were long and went well then it was that she would just ignore him for 10 minutes. The first time he called I was 3 waged it was like that for a while until they just stopped calling me. But he had my number. IF he couldn’t find her he would call me looking for her. When she spent the night we would talk on the 2 house phones. I and he would talk while she put down the phone and watched TV. Soon after he just started calling me. We would talk every night for hours we had the most in common. But technique he and my friend were still "going out". They wouldn’t talk when he was on AIM either. He tried to get me to break up with her for him. I said that was his job. He FINALY did it while she was at MY HOUSE on AIM. She just stood up and went in the living room. After she left, I talked to him more scolding him for doing that. It took me months after that for her to tell me that hurt her a lot.

He was the 3rd boy I feel in love with. It went well until that love business. He said it got to serious and I was a drama queen. I told lacy about it, she says she hates in for calling me that. Before he told me he never wanted to talk to me again I tried to get away from him. I wasn’t attracted to him, like I was before... He cared about to much what people thought about him. He wanted to try drugs and alcohol and his will power wasn't strong enough. It was his Emo phase. Pity became the only reason to keep talking to him. Plus, his logic was, there isn’t a way to truly love someone if you can't touch them. That straight out mocked me. Sure to feel the sensual side of love you have to be together. But I think love can be a strong emotion towards someone that makes the most difference in your life. And he didn’t understand it.

After he told me he never wanted to talk to me again, sure I was depressed little. But I had to get over it. I moved on. I told you he was the 3rd. Well before him there was a boy named Wes. I meet him on that game I meet that other guy. While that guy was gone for a month I started hanging out with him. Well I blocked out a lot of that but this is the summary. I followed him around like a dope. He had an internet go that he cared about and an ex go that wanted to be with him after her ex said it wasn’t working out . He left his then go to be with his ex whose bf still talked to her. They both didn’t work out and he went with one of his girlfriends. SHE told ME I needed to stay away from "her man". That was the last straw, because the whole time I was his support through all those girl troubles. I told him in completely getting out of it and stopped talking to him.

A month later he emailed me saying that he needed me in his life. So I talked to him again on AIM. We got together on that game and had a fun time. He had a cell phone then so we started talking on the phone. We talked 8 hours a day for a week pretty much. I told him I loved him and he said I love you too. I thought I found an answer to my depression problem. When I went on a vacation with my mom and other family I got a cell phone. I would call him every night at 9 when my free minutes started. I didn’t know he would get used to that. When I got back home he hardly ever called me. He would forget about me. A dust up to a couple of days ago I found out that when he can call me he is on that game with his internet go. It was starting all over again. So I told him he wasn’t worth the emotion of love and in treating him like just a friend. I noticed all I did was apologizing to him and he never said 1 sorry to me for hugging my phones curls up on the couch near to tears. He never apologized for making me cry and making me love him.

That 3rd love guy got back in my life again after he started talking to me again on aim. He said his life was hell without me. And that he loved me. I started talking to him again and I tried to get him out of my life because he made me aware of how was was playing me. I actually got mad at him and told him why couldn’t you of just left me oblivious and happy. He shows me more attention then

Kyle Tonaus; A Bibliography (August 03,2006)

Today Thursday, august 03, 2006 at currently 2:48 am, I sit here late at night reading a very inspiring story. It was a biography written about the man who it was about. I haven’t finished it yet but I'm really hoping too after I’m the first person to write a bibliography of that man in my own words. Well were shall I begin…probably best to say who I’m writing about. He’s name is Kyle Tonaus, and I'm pretty sure he’s going to be a well-spoken name. Well let’s see, how I meet him.
 Well I searched the word seduction on yahoo, funny how randomness and lead you. I searched that on videos and what I came up with was one of Kyle homemade videos with his friends John Mast, Dan Kelly, And Mark…hmmm… I don’t know his last name. The video was called seduction 2 and after laughing and showing it to my friends I decided to search around on his site, fantasticfive.net. I didn’t get to watch them all that night so I added the comedy page to my favorites. I enjoyed them all and some I even watch 2 to 3 more times. I scanned the home page and saw AIM screen names. With girlly glee I added them all on my friend list. First I talked to Dan. I tried to be random and mysterious but to my dismay I left my Myspace link I'm my profile. Had a fun chat and he knew me as the Pixie due to strange events in dialogue? The next day I got to talk to my new favorite person, Kyle Tonaus.  I claimed my place as the number one fan.  

Every Monday night I would talk to him while he updated the site and right when I wake up Tuesday I check to see what I find. I’ll review his week’s videos and in a professional uphold laughing nearly to tears then picks my top one or 3 video’s and sign the book of stars. We have had some real conversations to and he’s a great person to get to know. Hopefully one day his dreams of being a famous comedian/movie maker come true, so I can come to his premiers in a jet plane sent by him, loll. All he needs in support to keep his confidence together long enough to hit a big show. He’s still young, he can make it.

I’ve talked to all the fantastic five members but none as much as Kyle. John Mast was an apprentice in Kyle’s movies back in high school. I talk to him often but much less. Mostly about the band he’s in, Nava. I haven’t talked to Dan sense a couple of times after I first talked to him. But I keep updating with him on Myspace. I’ve talked to Jesse once I think, it was a fun conversation, and he hasn’t got on since then. I’ve talked to mark, but it wasn’t a conversation, I just introduced myself and said that I was the fantastic fives number one fan; he said that was cool, not much after that. I’ve talked to Jim, not many times, but enough. Even when he’s on I don’t talk to him, he intimidated me. But at least I can say, I’ve talked to them all.
 I guess now this is the end. I’m going to stay with my duty as number one fan and advertise all I can even with my current SoCal status. I'm glad I got to be a part in this group of guy’s lives, even if I'm only a fraction. The work of Kyle is going to get bigger into the future of entertainment. And I’ll stay here to be the little cheer on. There are more people like me out there, and I'm going to help get this to them. Plus, Kyle rules and everyone should love him and his comedy-y-ness. ^. ^
                                                                                        By Marcie Carelock       
                                                                                        Thursday, August 03, 2006
                                                                                         3:32 AM  

An Email to Jhonen Vasquez (2007)

Though I have doubts on this email address, I suppose I’ll fling my nonsense in cyberspace anyway. My name is Marcie; I am fascinated with your mind. ...Don’t I sound like a creepy stalker fan girl here... I do hope I don't seem like everyone else to you. That would be the last thing I’d want for you passing me up as "another one". As I said in my subject I'd like a conversation with you. I was more fascinated by your words in the beginning of the Johnny the Homicidal Maniac then the actual comic. Though I’ve read in an online interview (I had to violate the internet to learn more about you, it was irresistible) where you said what you say in the beginning was to go along with the comic more than your actual self. But as I read it began saying what I’ve told myself. For the past week I have been thinking about the conversations we could have if I ever meet you. But due to my uncontrollable lack of vocabulary when I'm talked to in person I’m slightly afraid of that day...if there would ever be that day.

Getting your comic was has its own story. If you ever do talk to me I will try to be as honest as possible. Like you I like to lie. Maybe not for the same reason. Maybe we could start a conversation on that. My reason is because through my life there wasn’t ever anything different about it. So I made lies...but the bad part is I’ve lost myself somewhere. I don’t know what is true or not and there is only altered past to reflect on. Example: in 1st grade I bit a boy for chasing me. That one part became "I bit him for the taste of blood". There even more was added to “I was a strange little girl; I would bite everyone for blood in 1st grade. People would call me "the biter" (lack of originality I know) everyone was scared of me." Actually in 1st grade I was humiliated every day. They didn’t run screaming in fear of a little smirk, they would laugh. Hmmm... I hope I don’t turn this into a 'Moments that Hurt, the life of Marcie" thing.

Well I’m sure you are quite tired of reading this block of test, hard to stop typing. It's past 11... I don’t image I’ll being going to sleep anytime soon. I like to sleep because I can stop thinking and just watch my thoughts form into dreams. But what I don’t like is waiting for it. I lay their...just thinking. Things I’ve said, things I could have said all play out. One night I actually imagined I meet you at a convention and you were signing books. I slide in front of the person next and told you I am fascinated by your mind and I would like to talk to you person to person. You were curious at what would happen and asked if I would like to stay behind the table until you had time. I couldn’t get past the people standing around your table so I crawled under the table and stood up on my knees and folded my arm on the table and watched the people come up and expectantly exclaim. "Homage Yoh-han I luv yooouuuu" You’d give an annoyed sigh, perhaps correct your name. I glared up at them for pronouncing your name wrong. And the best part is that I’d stick out from everyone else. No piercing, no dyed hair, no chains, no spikes, no black make up. Just a bright natural orange haired girl with a black blouse from Wal-Mart and black cargo pants from Cato's.

Hmmm... Maybe my white and black socks from hot topic. I like them but I slightly resented them because they were from such a commercialized overpriced over popular store. And for the brief moment I was in there just as they all were. I felt so...indifferent...Hey I got off track on my story. Well I was done anyway. OK it's time to edit, correct, and re-read my bad grammar. I have the decency to eliminate the retardation to the best of my ability. Before I start typing again I shall suddenly stop and eliminate the urge…wait wait….ok….almost…*suddenly stops*

(French)FICTION: Phantasny

un jeune garcon par le nom de Reyal faisait de la randonnée  par la forêt de Phantasny. une série de avec affectation, normal  occurrences a commencé à arriver. Il n'a pas fait promenade sur l'eau. Le eau était devenu liquide encore une fois. Il n'a pas fait baignade par les nuages. Ils aussi, rendu en arrière à normal et rendu au ciel. Reyal a été troublé par cela. Normalement, ou inhabituel je pourrait dire, sur ses randonnées il parlerait avec le lily fleur  et  trajet sur les pierres marchant en bas le violet ruisseau. La magie s'est épuisée de la forêt de Phantasny doit avoir égoutté. La feuille pas un seul n'a volé pour proposer une boisson de l'eau, Reyal ne pouvait pas même entendre des conversations

des hibous étant chuchotés dans les arbres. Les montagnes n'étaient pas le fait d'influencer avec la chanson, et le poisson n'était pas danse dans leur jupes de hula. Reyal

même manqué le plaintes de larves en étant sur le point beaucoup de sel dans le sol.  Cette randonnée était devenue désagréable à Reyal. Il n'a plus voulu être dans le forêt non plus. Ses cheveux vert foncé a commencé à se faner au marron. Ses yeux étaient profondément pourpres, maintenant ils sont gris. Il est parti Phantansy et a marché dans le sentier de Normalitia.

FICTION: Luniania

"Luniania!” called mother. "Luniania! Come here this second!" she shouted again. Yeah I heard her, but did I really want to go to her with that tone in her voice? No, that's right. I knew why she wanted me. I wasn't my fault my little brother, Aluie, believed me when I said you could fly if you jumped spinning your arms. Luckily he tried it off the couch instead of the building where I told him too. Right now I was in my secret place, no one could find me. It was a secret room I found while putting the clothes in the closet. I moved here just a couple of months ago. Mother said there was a war about to go on in our old village, so she decided to move us to the human world. Mother was a common witch with physic abilities. I was not blessed with this gift; I got my dad’s side of the gene pool. There was still a possibility of me becoming a witch one day. I am a little older then when most witches get their power, but there’s still a chance. In my secret room there were old books and little treasures that people from a past family left. This was a big change from the cottage mother, Aluie, and I lived in.