I don’t get the drama llama emote. But that's not the point. It's
the internet. When I was 13 I started getting into the internet. I learn a lot
of things. I know a lot about different kinds of people. Different cultures
were introduced. I had a since of reality I couldn’t get from my little town.
People that changed my life the most were over the internet. I was shaped into
this sympathetic complex girl. In the real world in just a host for my
thoughts. Some things leak out into everyday actions with friends, and every
mood I host is utility me. Sure I’ve had a couple of crushes but I had my first
LOVE through the internet.
I was 14 and was talking to the same guy for over a year now. I
truly thought was I felt was love. The butterfly’s when he signs on, the
complete uncontrolled of thoughts when talking to him. I would talk to him every
day. But the scariest part was if when daddy unplugged the computer I would go completely
berserk. I was afraid something would happen if I didn’t have the internet. I'd
break down and cry in a corner until the next day he would have mercy on me and
plug it back up. On a new game that boy introduced to me he introduced me to a
few of his real friends. There was one boy that was fun to talk to and I
introduced my best friend to him. My friend and his friend became internet go
and bf.
That one guy that was his friend told me a secret that was up to
him to tell. We were walking around alone on that game and he told me that he
was in the 6th grade. I was in 8th. I just laughed at first until I broke down
crying and I was hysterical. I was saying crazy stuff so the guy just took it
back and said he was lying because he was jealous. I believed this after I confirmed
with the boy if it was a lie of not. He said of course it’s a lie, do you trust
me or him. Eventually his friend had a conversation with him over AIM and
showed me that it was the truth. I talked to the boy and he's reason was that
he was too far into our relationship to lose it. I stopped loving him but he
turned out just to be like the little neighbor boy or something. I was more
like his big sister. I was 13 when he was 10 when we meet each other. He said
he was 15.
Before I knew this though I nearly meet him in person. He cussed
me out in an email in attempt to make me just not want to anymore. My DAD arranged
to go to his house. It really surprised me. I just slipped down to the floor
board and peeked out of the window while daddy practically stopped in front of
his house. If I was anybody else I would have just gotten it over with. But I
respected his wishes.
His friend though actually started calling my best friend. There
first two conversation were long and went well then it was that she would just
ignore him for 10 minutes. The first time he called I was 3 waged it was like
that for a while until they just stopped calling me. But he had my number. IF
he couldn’t find her he would call me looking for her. When she spent the night
we would talk on the 2 house phones. I and he would talk while she put down the
phone and watched TV. Soon after he just started calling me. We would talk every
night for hours we had the most in common. But technique he and my friend were
still "going out". They wouldn’t talk when he was on AIM either. He tried
to get me to break up with her for him. I said that was his job. He FINALY did
it while she was at MY HOUSE on AIM. She just stood up and went in the living
room. After she left, I talked to him more scolding him for doing that. It took
me months after that for her to tell me that hurt her a lot.
He was the 3rd boy I feel in love with. It went well until that
love business. He said it got to serious and I was a drama queen. I told lacy
about it, she says she hates in for calling me that. Before he told me he never
wanted to talk to me again I tried to get away from him. I wasn’t attracted to
him, like I was before... He cared about to much what people thought about him.
He wanted to try drugs and alcohol and his will power wasn't strong enough. It
was his Emo phase. Pity became the only reason to keep talking to him. Plus,
his logic was, there isn’t a way to truly love someone if you can't touch them.
That straight out mocked me. Sure to feel the sensual side of love you have to
be together. But I think love can be a strong emotion towards someone that makes
the most difference in your life. And he didn’t understand it.
After he told me he never wanted to talk to me again, sure I was
depressed little. But I had to get over it. I moved on. I told you he was the
3rd. Well before him there was a boy named Wes. I meet him on that game I meet
that other guy. While that guy was gone for a month I started hanging out with
him. Well I blocked out a lot of that but this is the summary. I followed him
around like a dope. He had an internet go that he cared about and an ex go that
wanted to be with him after her ex said it wasn’t working out . He left his
then go to be with his ex whose bf still talked to her. They both didn’t work
out and he went with one of his girlfriends. SHE told ME I needed to stay away
from "her man". That was the last straw, because the whole time I was
his support through all those girl troubles. I told him in completely getting
out of it and stopped talking to him.
A month later he emailed me saying that he needed me in his life.
So I talked to him again on AIM. We got together on that game and had a fun
time. He had a cell phone then so we started talking on the phone. We talked 8
hours a day for a week pretty much. I told him I loved him and he said I love
you too. I thought I found an answer to my depression problem. When I went on a
vacation with my mom and other family I got a cell phone. I would call him every
night at 9 when my free minutes started. I didn’t know he would get used to
that. When I got back home he hardly ever called me. He would forget about me. A
dust up to a couple of days ago I found out that when he can call me he is on
that game with his internet go. It was starting all over again. So I told him
he wasn’t worth the emotion of love and in treating him like just a friend. I
noticed all I did was apologizing to him and he never said 1 sorry to me for
hugging my phones curls up on the couch near to tears. He never apologized for
making me cry and making me love him.
That 3rd love guy got back in my life again after he started
talking to me again on aim. He said his life was hell without me. And that he
loved me. I started talking to him again and I tried to get him out of my life
because he made me aware of how was was playing me. I actually got mad at him
and told him why couldn’t you of just left me oblivious and happy. He shows me
more attention then
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